It Starts with an Ordinary Story
Perpetuating family bonds into the future generations including the history, the core values, traditions and memories can be a challenge as a business family grows and time marches on. Typically, a family will keep a scrap book with pictures, but sometimes the person holding those pictures pass away before the names and story is written down. A senior family member may have spent time working on a family tree that the next generation pays little attention to. Often, I hear elder members say they should write an autobiography, but never seem to get something written down. How do you preserve all of these everyday, ordinary stories, reflecting values, traditions and keep the family bonds strong?
We recently found the autobiography of my husband’s grandfather. Unbeknownst to us, he actually gave it to us in a manuscript format 30 years ago. It was sent to each of his grandchildren, but with our busy lives, we put it in a file and didn’t think about it, much like our book on genealogy which sat on our bookshelf. The important thing about the stories is that they were saved and passed along, even if it only became relevant once the person passed away. The treasure wasn’t lost and the life lessons were ultimately passed down to the great grand kids.
No matter if you think your life is interesting or not, the stories you have need to be recorded for future generations even if they aren’t read until years or generations later. My mom always said that I should write down the humorous stories I would tell of raising three lively boys who would get into all kinds of shenanigans. The day before she suddenly passed away, she told me “if only there was time”. She was right, there never is enough time, but the loss of not passing along the precious tales of triumph and failures should not be risked. There are many formats the stories can take from question and answer sessions, diaries or just thoughts on this and that. If an autobiography is too overwhelming, what about a children’s book or short stories. A video recording of an interview which can easily be recorded from an I-phone or done professionally. Documenting all the traditions and how and why they were created would be cherished. A family book of recipes with pictures of various traditions. Letters to loved ones while they are alive or to be opened after you have passed give insight to your life and leaves a legacy for the future.
If you have made the commitment and started writing down stories, what format might make them more interesting for family members? If you would like the entire family involved, start a family newsletter. First, consider the audience and purpose. If the audience is for your yearly holiday letter to everyone you know, make sure content is appropriate. If it is for immediate and extended family members involved or not involved in the business, it might include a business update. Have contributing family members write about their prior year which would be informational to keep everyone aware and historical by preserving the stories for years to come. Ask elder members for a contribution of a story they would like to pass along; you could recommend a theme to prompt a past experience. Consider a section for younger children with a place for drawing or a picture they already created. Have inspirational quotes and/or family member sayings you would like to preserve. Pictures would be important to preserve and make it more visually interesting. Make sure all newsletters are saved in a notebook for future reference.
Stories can also be conveyed more visually by creating a timeline. If the business timeline hasn’t been created, this would be just as important as the family timeline. When the company was founded along with products and pictures of the ribbon cutting or the first sale. A family timeline from when the first ancestor came to America with births, marriages and other milestones. They can be combined or separate, but I would encourage using a separation by decade for visual ease. It might be helpful to note world events such as World War II, the Great Recession or an invention that changed the way business was being done or changed family dynamics. Programs such as Twile.com can help organize and prompt you as you go through the information in a timeline.
A children’s book might be a way of telling a tale, sharing a core value or simply recording a magical time with family. Our family story would include a marshmallow tree that grew in grandfather’s garden. Every morning in spring, the grandchildren would wake up eager to pick the fresh marshmallows to put on their cereal or eat fresh from the tree. The ants would be annoying which made them hard to wash without getting them mushy. These magical moments I would like to share with my grandchildren some day. If you google it, there are many marshmallow farm videos which easily perpetuate the tall tale.
There could also be letters written to children, grandchildren or even past love letters to save. Many books were created by compiling the information preserved for future writers through letters. Today we don’t seem to write letters via snail mail. But starting correspondence in any form is a powerful way to keep in touch especially if family is spread throughout the country. The letters could start as early as elementary school with various thoughts on this and that, but also help with the development of reading and writing skills. Print or copy each letter and keep the reply safely in a notebook for reflection in the future. It might even make a wonderful wedding or birthday gift to give to the person you wrote to.
Passing down history in an interesting way for younger children is a challenge, but it is important to engage the younger members. Our adult children have stated, “If only we new more about our family history when we were younger, I might have paid more attention in history class. Our family was in it.” Yes, our family doesn’t quite go back to the Mayflower, but pretty close, 1682. They fought in the Revolutionary War through World War II. But how do you share the stories without it going on deaf ears? One way is to use a mascot. Museums strategically place their mascot for kids to find en route through the halls of their building. This would be fun for company tours or scavenger hunts. The objective is to place it by a piece of history and the child would have to say where they found it and why it was placed there for them to learn about that piece of history. For instance, you could have one by a historic family member’s portrait with the story of that person. You could have one mascot that gets moved around much like elf on a shelf or you could have multiple ones in key places. If a mascot doesn’t seem appealing, hiding historic quotes or short stories in Easter Eggs for children to collect might be helpful.
Engaging young adults in history of the company and family would also be helpful in their overall development as family business members. Having a middle schooler or high schooler research a family member and present their findings at a family council meeting would not only be educational but help with leadership skills. It would also expose them to family council meetings as something they would be more comfortable with joining in the future. In the company, young adults can also work during the summer or part time to get familiar with the business early on. In my family, we started working as soon as we could walk. We were given small jobs just to be part of the family business. My math skills were learned practicing the cash register in kindergarten with my mom. Once I became proficient, I could help out in the family store although I might have needed a step stool to reach the counter. It could be a family tradition to start working in the business on their thirteen birthday or some other milestone birthday depending what the company does. This would help overall with knowing about the family business and how it works.
Making the stories, experiences and history fun helps with perpetuating the core values of the business family and secure family bonds. There are many more ways to creatively preserve history; the sky is the limit. Technology is out there to help with various vehicles to capture the memories. The important thing is they are captured for future generations to preserve a legacy. What is your story?
FREE eBook: Family Tales: Discovering Your Story
