Family Traditions, Old or New, Can Create a Family Bond
My parents would often take the family on a vacation for a festive celebration with all of the spouses and grand-kids included. This group would amount to 30 people which were often spotted in t-shirts that matched, a gift from the grandparents designed specifically to memorialize the occasion. Pictures from the trip with everyone in similar shirts would be preserved for generations. We would spy other groups on the trip with a similar idea. Most had similar themes of the family name, the trip location and year of the event. Like us, some had a family/business logo or other symbol designed to feel the comradely among family members. Although t-shirts are great, many families are looking for more unique ways they can create a bond with their family.
Using a family or business logo, you might consider designing a flag. There is an art to designing a flag with each color representing some attribute. To pass along core values would be a good opportunity to use this when deciding on the color. Red for instance represents hardiness, or valor; blue signifies determination, liberation, alertness and good fortune; white is seen as a symbol of peace, purity and harmony. A well thought out designed flag could be used in pictures during family celebrations, but also mile stone events. If someone climbs Mt. Everest, a picture with the family flag could inspire other members for their own challenge. Our family often talks about moving the flag toward achieving our BHAG (Big Hairy Ass Goal). Wouldn’t it be nice to literally have a flag to mark the achievement? Our family decided that each head of the family would have a family flag to memorialize various occasions: trips, goals, graduations, celebrations.
Other traditions could be a piece of jewelry for a milestone birthday, graduation or entering into the family as part of the on-boarding to make them feel part of the group. A bracelet, pendant, locket or ring would be a nice keepsake. In our case, we used our family coat of arms that was engraved on a wedding or college class ring for the men. A pendant was used in a similar style for the women. Other ideas could be a watch with a meaningful engraving. My family had the saying, “The World is Yours” which would be a very meaningful value to pass along in this way. We also had a tradition of passing along coins which could be made into jewelry. Coins are very symbolic which to some means good luck or to others, a message from heaven. Using this as a tradition can bring unity, but also pass along values to the next generation.
The Scottish families had a tartan to represent their clan. If you have Scottish ancestors, you could look up your specific family tartan to be used in various formats such as a tie, a scarf, ceremonial cloak or a kilt. Not only do you have a meaningful design, but a story from history. But you might not have a link to the Scots in which you could design your own. Each of the colors could represent something similar to the flag colors. But note that actual tartans used red sparingly since it was expensive, therefore, someone wearing tartan with a lot of red in it was more likely to have wealth. A bright colored tartan might be an effort to show off one’s prominence. A dark, earth-toned tartan might be chosen to blend in with their surroundings or maybe they wanted to stay hidden. More importantly, designing a tartan for your family should be based on meaningfulness to you and what you want to pass down either history, values or a story. If a tartan design isn’t for you, fabric that has your individualized design is an option. Many websites are available to create a unique fabric just for your family.
One of my favorite family traditions is collecting Christmas ornaments from the places we traveled. Our tree is an eclectic menagerie of 30 years of travel history with stories to share during the holidays. But another tradition is to have a gift ornament arrive in the shoes of young children on the eve of St. Nicholas. Many nationalities celebrate St. Nicholas Day, December 6, which could lead into stories from various ancestors and their voyage to America. If the goal is to learn more of your family ancestry, create ornaments by miniaturizing historic pictures and put them in a mini frame with the persons name on the back. See how many family members can guess who is who in the pictures.
Recently we did an exercise at our family celebration on what quotes do you remember from grandparents or other family members. They ranged from silly, “Go play with bumblebees” to more cautionary, “Be careful what you wish for” and inspirational, “Never Give Up”. To compile them in a memorable way could be documenting them in a book alongside a picture of the family member or if someone is a photographer, take a picture that would complement the quote (i.e. bumblebees). Writing the quote on a smooth rock and placing them in a garden or flower bed to accumulate over time with inspiring messages. Having a memorial garden or tree line with the quote associated with the person and their birth-death dates. Preserving and passing along memorable quotes can be inspiring family members for years to come.
Food tends to be consoling and gives the feeling of well-being. Childhood favorites bring back the nostalgic days of the past. In our family, every Thanksgiving my aunt would host an elaborate banquet for the entire extended family to feast on. There was plenty of turkey, mash potatoes and stuffing, but our all-time favorite was the secret recipe, vegetable casserole. Years were spent guessing the ingredients through trial and error with my aunt holding true to the mystery. But what if that special secret recipe died when she passed away? Her legacy of supreme hostess would be lost for future generations. Instead, a compilation of recipes along with pictures of family celebrations could be a unique treasure to teach kids the art of entertaining and the importance of traditions.
Many weddings embrace meaningful symbols from history. One family had a sword from Italy that they used for the bride and groom to cut their wedding cake. Other families have a “Friendship Cup” made of silver or crystal to welcome the new member of the family. Everyone would ceremoniously toast and pass around the goblet. We had silver candlesticks at our wedding which were lite and then exchanged by the mother of the bride and groom after we lite a candle to represent our unity. Special engraving might go inside of every ring as a symbol of something old. The ideas for old or new traditions especially for weddings could be endless.
Using family traditions, old or new, can keep history interesting, a legacy lasting and a family strong. No longer do millennials want our china, crystal and silver passed down, but if done right, meaningful traditions can live on for generations. In this fast past, throw away world, individual family members need to know they are part of something bigger than themselves. What traditions would you like to pass down to the future generations?
