Like a family's balance sheet, life presents us with various forms of capital (intellectual, social, human, spiritual) and liabilities (death, illness, black swan events, or financial change).  Just as financial statements include assets and debts, our lives are composed of moments that encompass tragedies and joys. These contrasting elements, like different forms of capital and liabilities, shape the overall picture of our journey. We find richness and depth in the delicate balance between these experiences. This is Beverly Lacy Hoge’s story behind his purpose.

Soon after my husband bought his company, our family decided to form a family council. The purpose of the council is to educate and facilitate communication between family members and provide a forum for constructive discussion, problem-solving, and decisions about the family as it relates to the business and the family. After several successfully facilitated meetings by our advisor, we decided to organize the meetings independently. Establishing the agenda, arranging the location, and gathering other pertinent information went smoothly. However, the conference itself stumbled since some members interrupted or diverted from the topic at hand. After an abrupt end to a Thanksgiving meeting, the family members complained separately to me about the unorganized discussions. The family needed to step back to evaluate the situation to continue family harmony during the meetings. Instead of blaming each other, we decided to be proactive by taking an individual assessment test, the DISC, to learn how to work more effectively together.

On March 11, 2020, WHO officially labeled COVID-19 a pandemic. After nine months of social distancing and safer at home orders, most us have had enough of this doom and gloom year. We are gleeful and hopeful for 2021 to bring back some normalcy. As we plan our New Year’s resolutions, we re-consider what is important to us. If the challenges we faced in the pandemic of 2020 are having you reflect on your desire to make a difference in the world, rest assured there are many ways to fulfill this goal. Start with small ways that can make a big difference, continue with a plan of “doing no harm,” and strive to achieve making a real impact.

My dirty little secret is that I am a book hoarder. Amazon is my go-to place for impulsive orders to collect literature. Every Saturday, we receive the Wall Street Journal which lists the top books by fiction, non-fiction, and business. Systematically I go through the list to investigate the topics which might be of interest. Although I lean toward non-fiction, The Traveler’s Gift and Where the Crawdads Sing are amongst my favorite in the fiction category. Completely out of my typical genre is The Name of the Wind, recommended by my son, which turned out to be thoroughly captivating. My sister also wrote a book, The Scent of Death, historical fiction, which I couldn’t put down and read in one sitting. Without going into details about fictional best sellers, I will focus my recommendations by subject to include business books, family business books, books teaching values and books created by a family member.

Reminiscing holiday traditions growing up, I think of blessing Easter Baskets, celebrating Christmas Eve at my Bushi’s (Polish grandma) house and enjoying Thanksgiving at my Aunt and Uncle’s. Getting dressed up with black freshly polished patent leather shoes and an Easter bonnet which were all lined up the night before brings back the joyful smells of the day. Since I was the youngest, our large Thanksgiving dinner at my Aunt and Uncle’s had me relegated to the “children’s table” which I never graduated from even in college. In my Bushi’s tiny basement, my dad’s enormous family were cozily scrunched together on folding tables and chairs with a large buffet of Polish delicacies. In hindsight, many of the traditions brought both joy and heartache. Trying to develop traditions that are unifying is an objective for any family, but sometimes unintentional pain is inflicted on a member. How do you avoid the hurt feelings associated with the holiday traditions?

After being restricted from travel with the COVID-19 pandemic, I found myself dreaming about our next adventure. My husband and I already traveled to the Galapagos, Africa, and Scotland from our bucket list, but we want to choose carefully for the next trip. Taking in considerations on safety of course, we want to have a purposeful one beyond just a list. The outline for the experiences concluded with finding a place that evokes joy, learning about something, creating a legacy excursion and a memorializing tribute.

When thinking of inheritance, typically the thought revolves around money or possessions. Designing a successful wealth transfer tends to be the conversation with financial advisors. Insurance companies might ask about high worth assets to provide adequate coverage for posterity. But if you want to transfer values and a shared sense of purpose to future generations, you need to design a legacy plan which would consist of a Vision-Mission-Core Values statement, traditions, family education, and a collection of stories.

Significant changes happened over the years with the customer-bank relationships. The initial banking system developed by Alexander Hamilton had the purpose of paying for the Revolutionary war. By 1836, however, banks were motivated to get people’s money out of their mattress and introduced their version of a checking account. Although this system was proven to be a disaster with various “runs” on the bank over the years, it was the banks risky behavior leading to the crash of 1929 that cemented the mistrust of financial institutions. Once the government issued the FDIC (Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation), the consumer slowly became more confident in using banks to safeguard their money. Today with a declining 60% of their current patrons depending on banks as a primary financial institution, banks need to enhance customer understanding, innovate the customer experience and to build customer trust to keep competitive in today’s market.

Life is hectic with day to day activity distracting families from their business educational goals. The ability to organize and schedule a family celebration or family council meeting is only part of the challenge on the road to educational awareness and proficiency. Determining what areas need further development is a continuous process which needs monitoring for continuous improvement. With the objective of having your business family knowledgeable in a variety are areas such as governance, finance and history, how do you seamlessly continue to evolve from year to year, generation to generation?

Although I might be biased as a nature lover, mockingbirds are fascinating creatures. These birds cause no pain to anyone or anything—they just sing, continuously. Chosen as a book title, To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee, the bird is a figurative representation of the loss of innocence. Quoting from the book, “Mockingbirds don’t do one thing but . . . sing their hearts out for us. That’s why it’s a sin to kill a mockingbird.”  The overall theme in To Kill a Mockingbird is that every human being deserves to be treated with dignity. What a wonderful message for today’s world, everyone deserves dignity.

Social Distancing, Coronavirus, Quarantined are all things we have become too familiar with these last couple of weeks. Businesses and schools are closed, hospitals are overburdened, and we are struggling to find a new normal. We are scrubbing our hands, keeping six feet apart in groups of ten or less all in an effort to “flatten” the statistical curve of the virus. We have become a society of hoarders by clearing out grocery shelves of paper towels, cleaning products, toilet paper and the elusive hand sanitizer. People are binge watching movies, old TV shows or obsessively watching the latest news since we are being told to be a couch potato. Someone sneezing in a public place is as frightening as a person with leprosy. To combat our worst fears, the human spirit is discovering creative ways to entertain themselves. Teddy bear hunts are being developed and song parodies are going viral on social media. Although some have extra time on their hands, others need to adapt to their working environment in the confines of their abode. Some even have to juggle the additional chore of homeschooling. But through this confusion, a question occurred to me. While everyone is working from home and if this is our new normal, how can we keep our family bond if we aren’t physically together? At this moment during the Pandemic of 2020, can technology be an effective tool to keep your family productive, connected and informed?

If your home address is number 42, it might be significant to you if you have seen the movie,  “The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy” by Douglas Adams. In the movie, 42 was the answer to the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe, and Everything. Although this was a symbolic number in the movie, it might not resonate with you. Numbers, however, can have a lot of meaning for different people. When it comes to your dream home, having an ordinary number amongst the masses might not be the answer to the “Ultimate Question of Everything.” How do you make your dream home a place symbolizing your family story, values or significance for many generations to come?

What does Henry Ford, Charles Schwab, Richard Branson, David Murdock, Steve Jobs, Ted Turner, Walt Disney and Nelson Rockefeller have in common? If you guessed they are all entrepreneurs or all millionaires, you would be right. But you might not have realized they are all Dyslexic, the new superpower or as some researchers say, a “desired difficulty”.

After reading various articles on how family businesses can accommodate this disability, I became confused then irritated. Why did the authors think it was a problem that had to be fixed instead of a gift to be nourished? And why did so many successful businesspeople flourish when society believes it is a disability?

Sharing history of the family or the family business doesn’t have to be dull, divisive or disregarded. It starts with a little preparation to elicit ancestral tales and delightful personal stories. A bit of creative flair can start a conversation leading to a remembrance of life lessons and values to be passed down to future generations. To keep the discussion appealing, start with the presentation. Here are some ideas:

My parents would often take the family on a vacation for a festive celebration with all of the spouses and grand-kids included.  This group would amount to 30 people which were often spotted in t-shirts that matched, a gift from the grandparents designed specifically to memorialize the occasion. Pictures from the trip with everyone in similar shirts would be preserved for generations.  We would spy other groups on the trip with a similar idea.  Most had similar themes of the family name, the trip location and year of the event.  Like us, some had a family/business logo or other symbol designed to feel the comradely among family members. Although t-shirts are great, many families are looking for more unique ways they can create a bond with their family.

Stories often die with the person and lost forever.  When I ask people about writing their story they often say that their life isn't that interesting or who would want to read it?  I truly believe everyone has a story to tell; a lesson to pass along to future generations.  The struggles, the passion, the failure and their success gives future generations perspective in this fast paced world.

One of those tall tale stories was about my Great Grandpa Adam in 1912.  He was at work at the sugar refinery and the entire factory erupted with an explosion and collapsed into rubble and fire. Wives and families arrived at the scene looking for their husbands and sons. Many were killed. The explosion threw some into St. Mary’s Cemetery adjoining the refinery. Others could not be found, including grandpa. Some five or six hours after Marie, his wife, arrived back home, Grandpa Adam walked back into the house, where he told an incredible story.